I can't wait

Today there was one common theme that influenced every patient’s attitude as though there was an actual invisible parasite that climbed up everyone’s ass. No really, almost everyone that walked through the door was on edge and demanded that we cater to THEIR needs. In most cases I do not mind the irritability but today for some reason it seemed it was on everyone’s face. Maybe it’s the approach we have when they initially walk in, or the fact the office is getting too small. Whatever the case I hope it is resolved when we move to our new office. In the mean time I’m stuck pondering where we went wrong. Maybe its just pain management in general but I probably won’t know till it’s too late. But here, indulge yourself in my frustrations.

Today a younger woman, with a shower cap and slippers walks in at 8:30. She’s a new patient. I feel as though I may have seen her before at my old job at the Children’s Place. Oh my memories of retail theft are still as strong as ever and when I see these people time and time again I laugh because I remember how they would react to being caught. Anyway she looks vaguely familiar. She comes up to the window about 15 minutes later, not even having her paperwork finished and asks when she is going to be seen. I wish I could have taken a moment and said look around. You see all of these people? Yeah it’s going to be awhile. But I do not work at the very front window and she was told the wait may be a little long today. Well she wanted to be in and out. Not sure how you can be in and out at a doctor’s office when you’ve never even been seen before. I assume at other pain management offices they just hand you the script through the window after you hand them a couple hundreds. Well sweetie, in our office our doctor doesn’t just write scripts for whatever medication tickles your fancy and I don’t see anyone scrambling to pay us more than their Medicaid two dollar copay (and even then they complain – I’ll tell you the story about how we had to call the police because a man refused to pay his Medicaid copay).

The woman was not pleased to hear this information and demanded she be rescheduled. She was rescheduled and told to take the paperwork home to expedite the process. Now here is where I am innocently assaulted. Today I saw a couple patients but mostly I’m in the back dealing with other issues. I’m walking across the front to find something and this woman glares at me and sticks her hand through the glass with some paperwork. Now I just love when people do this because they’re just waiting for someone to even walk by, could even be the janitor and they feel that you should wait on them THIS SECOND. I usually hate when people just give me hand gestures and rude glares, but I knew what she was there for so I grabbed her paperwork and I told her I would get her chart together. She prompts me: “Well I gotta pee and I need to go take a urine test now.” One, how does she know she has to take a urine test and two I don’t have her chart even together. Before you think I’m over reacting she’s yelling this in the waiting room with her hand on her hip. I told her that once I got her chart together I would call her back and see what the situation was. I know everyone has to take a urine test but I don’t like him or her to think that because then they start to predict when and where they will fake their urine results. Anyway, she proceeds to tell me she’s been waiting over 45 minutes. Cool. I then find out she’s the lady who rescheduled this morning and this pleases me. Why is she back in the office five hours later? Lying to someone else just so she can get in and out?

So later she goes back into the room with her child running up and down the hallway. She doesn’t give him a second glance because you know; he’s not her responsibility when she’s in public. She then goes in the room and proceeds to say how unprofessional I am and rude. Good. Sorry I couldn’t assist you because you just waved some papers in my face and technically you shouldn’t even be here, you forfeited your appointment. Then she proceeds to ask for Dilaudids. She states the insurance rep that referred her here said the doctor would get her what she wanted. Lucky for our doctor this insurance rep so happens to be his friend and I find it hilarious she sends us all the drug addicts. But in our office girls that do not work with him on the daily are nothing short of angels. We are just lowlife servants that he can take out his frustrations on. But it pleased me to hear her repeat that woman’s name over and over and how she said that the woman told her that doctor would give her the pills. Dilaudid. Yes, of course what else would you like a medium coke? Well anyway by this time it was 4:30 and I was finally taking lunch. I kept watching her storm out of the office into this car then back in about two times. She then called up the insurance company and told them what happened. The doctor didn’t give her medicine. All the while she’s running around like a maniac. I wonder if she complained of back pain. She was fine, I’m sure. Maybe next time she’ll realize that you can’t just get things for free and she should have went on topix.com to find her doctor.