(inspired by the crazy woman who comes in every month and harasses us. Yes I may be a smart ass, but no one likes you because you are SO DANG MEAN, for no reason)
1. You ran to the restroom before we called you in the room. Oh you can't pee? Here's some water. I only need a little ;)
2. You're on dialysis.
3. For some reason you can only pee once a day and on this particular day you already peed.
4. Your insurance company only lets you take one urine test a month. Conveniently your PCP already drug tested you. BTW to the woman who told me this, I called your insurance company and you lied. Plus with your medicare replacement plan I will never have to get urine test authorized. Who's the smart ass now?
5. You can't find your penis and you can't sit on the toilet
6. It's against your religion
6. It's against your religion
7. Your in so much pain you can't reach your arm down their to hold the cup, long enough or steady enough. But you can sure hold that cigarette to your mouth can't you?
8. You're on a regime of antibiotics that for some reason won't let you take a drug test.
9. Your special medicine makes you positive for all different types of street drugs. That dang diabetes medicine making you positive for cocaine again?
10. THE ACTUAL REASON: you took some drug, didn't take your actual prescription and you're afraid to be discharged.
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